G! Whiz: Must See TV
By Heidi Brander
The days are getting shorter, the leaves are ready to start changing colour any minute now, and writers who normally only watch nothing but episodes of “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” online are suddenly making preachy award show predictions.
Yes, it’s Emmy season!
Since the only TV I get to see is Coronation Street and the first 15 minutes of Ghost Whisperer reruns (I don’t have cable), I absolutely will not be able to help you win your office pool when the Emmy’s air on September 18. But I can offer some insight on a few choice categories…
Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series: This category should be renamed “Most OK actress when Damages is on hiatus”. None of these flimsy actresses can hold a candle to Glenn Close on that show. Have you seen her as Patty Hewes? It’s the craziest thing you’ll see on TV short of a lioness killing and eating her own young on Animal Planet. But if it absolutely cannot be Glenn, the award better go to Kathy Bates because an Emmy will encourage her to try for an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony). And could you imagine how great Kathy Bates ‘s Grammy award-winning album would be?
Outstanding Host for a Reality Program: This award is the equivalent of a track & field “participant” medal. I think they invented this category just so that 50 years from now when you’re reading an issue of Entertainment Weekly on your iPost-it or whatever device you read things on in the future, journalists can shock you with Emmy factoids like “Ryan Seacrest has an Emmy and Kim Cattrall doesn’t!”
Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series: This category has more obvious filler than a Backstreet Boy’s solo album. It’s an Alec Baldwin versus Steve Carell contest, unless Emmy voters decide to reward Louis C.K., Matt LeBlanc or Jim Parsons for their brave comedic turns as themselves (I know Jim Parsons technically plays a character, but something tells me “nerd” isn’t much of a stretch for him). And you know having six nominees is superfluous when David from “Roseanne” is nominated for one.
Best Omission from the Emmy “In Memoriam” reel: After three straight years of choking back tears during the “In Memoriam” reel due to the passing of yet another Golden Girl, I’m thrilled that Betty White will be gracing my screen as a best supporting actress nominee rather than in a clip package playing behind Faith Hill while she performs a cover of “I Will Remember You”.
Other than that, Candice Bergen and David Hyde Pierce for everything, including best comedy and drama, respectively. Don’t forget to cut me into your office pool winnings!
Follow Heidi on Twitter @HeidiBrander and read what Heidi has to say next each month in G!
By Heidi Brander The days are getting shorter, the leaves are ready to start changing colour any minute now, and writers who normally only watch nothing but episodes of “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant” online are suddenly making preachy award show predictions. Yes, it’s Emmy season! Since the only TV I get to see [...]
G! Whiz: Treasure Island
By Heidi Brander
“You’re going to PEI? AGAIN?”
This is the response I get from my friends in Toronto each year when I tell them how I’ll be spending two of my three HR approved weeks vacation. Every year they invite me on vacay with them to experience someplace new, and every year I decline. It’s not just because the friends in question are gay men inviting me to Provincetown (which is like inviting a double arm amputee to a petting zoo), it’s because for me, PEI is the best vacation spot in the world! I don’t think I could make it through the rest of the year if I didn’t get to experience a PEI summer. In fact, I’ve already started compiling my to-do list:
Island Preserve Company: It wouldn’t be a trip home if I didn’t spend an afternoon sidling up to the counter at this Island institution while saying to no one in particular, “Goodness me, free samples! I do suppose I could try just one.” It’s not long before passive aggressive hovering gives way to full-on body checks to anyone who dares to stand between me and my twenty-seventh helping of strawberries & champagne jam on a soda cracker.
The Frosty Treat: I’ve been frequenting the Frosty Treat since infancy, and it has ruined all other ice cream for me. Much like the infamous scene in the movie Trainspotting, if a Nutty Dip cone fell into The Worst Toilet in Scotland, I would jump in after it without hesitation.
Cows Ice Cream: Cows doesn’t make my list for its ice cream (see above) but I always make an effort to swing by Cows’ flagship store to drop off my annual job application for pun coordinator (cow-ordinator?). I was deeply disappointed in their selection of “Royals HoneyMOOning in PEI” for their William & Kate themed shirts over my suggestion, “Cow-gratulations on your holy(stein) matrimooooony.” Please hire me!
Anne & Gilbert: This show is can’t-miss, especially with Aaron “Dreamboat” Kyte in the role of Gilbert. My mom has even gone so far as to say that Aaron Kyte is her favourite Gilbert ever, which is high praise considering my mom has a reputation for scathing theatrical reviews. They range from The Full Monty (“Loved it!”) to Hairspray (“Wonderful!”) to The Buddy Holly Story (“Wonderful! Loved it!”)
Other hot spots include Baba’s for my favourite drink (one Sweet Oblivion plus one straw), the beach (Brander’s Pond, because I’m narcissistic) and any table on Victoria Row that happens to be free at the time.
Come play on my Island!
Follow Heidi on Twitter @HeidiBrander and read what Heidi has to say next each month in G!
“You’re going to PEI? AGAIN?” This is the response I get from my friends in Toronto each year when I tell them how I’ll be spending two of my three HR approved weeks vacation. Every year they invite me on vacay with them to experience someplace new, and every year I decline. It’s not just [...]
G! Whiz: You Can’t Stop the Tweet
By Heidi Brander
This summer, PEI will play host to both British royalty and country music royalty, not to mention Celebrity Apprentice royalty (no, not Dionne Warwick – I’m talkin’ about Meat Loaf).
With so many famous people infiltrating the Island you may be tempted to follow them around, waiting for the right moment to initiate a handshake, buy them a drink at the bar or plant a recording device in their hotel with the intention of later selling the nude footage to TMZ. With today’s overly sensitive celebs dishing out more restraining orders than autographed glossies (sorry Robert Pattinson), it’s far easier to put down the binoculars and sign up for a Twitter account. Twitter gives fans an unprecedented amount of access to celebrities, particularly if your preferred celeb happens to be a fame whore.
(Fame Whore Litmus Test: Divide total number of photos of them frolicking on the beach by the number of times he/she has appeared on “Glee” and multiply that by their fragrances.)
Need help learning how to Tweet? Ask a 10-year old. Need help learning which celebrities you can follow on Twitter? You’ve come to the right place:
Gwyneth Paltrow: (@gwynethpaltrow) The most recent addition to my celeb-ridden Twitter feed, younger audiences may know Gwyneth as the “Chandler’s roommate Eddie” of Glee (a character they refuse to get rid of, despite being painfully one-dimensional and unfunny). Older audiences will be more familiar with GOOP, her “lifestyle” blog (if your “lifestyle” happens to include exfoliating with organic demerara sugar and diamond shavings). Her tweets are just as amazingly pretentious as she is.
Sample Tweet: “Looking for tutor for kids. $195K per day. Must speak french, lebanese, farsi, mandarin, creole, finnish and ebonics.”
Amanda Bynes: (@MsAmandaBynes_) The star of such classic films as “She’s the Man” and “What a Girl Wants”, what this girl wants is attention. In between fishing for compliments, Amanda famously retired from acting via Twitter, then unretired (not a real word) when she realized that no one cared.
Sample Tweet: “I’m unretired 
”
Tweet: (@Tweet) Just kidding! Ironically, the singer Tweet of “Oops, Oh My” fame is not on Twitter. Seems like a missed opportunity if you ask me.
Justin Bieber: (@JustinBieber) The most followed man on Twitter (I used the term “man” loosely), the Biebs has over 10 million followers. In fact, the day he cut his hair from his signature swoosh into a cropped pixie, he lost 80, 000 followers, solidifying his position as a modern-day Keri Russell. Most celebrities on Twitter retweet compliments about themselves, but no one does this as often and unabashedly as Justin Bieber.
Sample Tweet: “Someone approached me today and asked if I was that chick from the L Word…”
When Heidi’s not unabashedly following hoards of celebs on Twitter (@HeidiBrander), she’s writing about them each month in G! Magazine.
This summer, PEI will play host to both British royalty and country music royalty, not to mention Celebrity Apprentice royalty (no, not Dionne Warwick – I’m talkin’ about Meat Loaf). With so many famous people infiltrating the Island you may be tempted to follow them around, waiting for the right moment to initiate a handshake, [...]
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